did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
How's work?
Spinning.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
