this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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