I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
this hospital has no fireball
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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