they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
that's an acceptable place to lick
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
