Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
