Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
