there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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