it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
