I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
