Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
