It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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