Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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