My underwear smells like fireworks.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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