is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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