now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
