you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
