I want to make a zoo with you.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
