how can u be prego again
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
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i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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