there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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