Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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