Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
