look no pants
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
