Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
