After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My feet surprised me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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