She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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