If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
