just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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