Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
