Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
