did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
