Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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