I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
