he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
