I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
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i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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