Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize