One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
