I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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