i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
