ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
