Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You did what with his pubic hair?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
