so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
