You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
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I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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