when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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