We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
