I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
