eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
