I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
