Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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