I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
