Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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