Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
