He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
