Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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