this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
