Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize