worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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