HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
