How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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