would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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